My head hurts

So tonight we had bible study again and I have never really, I mean really, studied the bible before. Yes I have read it, and I know to trust God and believe in his word. But to really look at the bible and sort of pick it apart and understand the meaning. Kind of reading between the lines so to say. It makes my head hurt. I'm trying to follow along and understand. But I think what would help me is to try and take a nap on bible study days. I have to get up early to take my son to school and since he likes to sleep in my bed, along with the dog and my husband, I end up in the recliner at night a lot. I don't mind but on these days I think I need a little extra boost, like from a nap. Some might drink coffee but that make me feel like I'm going to throw up all day so I try not to touch the stuff.
But I am learning a lot. I never know that you could break down a simple Psalm that I have read more times than I can count. I remember have to memorize it in first grade. But I guess I never really understood it all the way.
I'm so glad that my Mother-in-law had the idea from God to start this bible study. I know my whole family needs this. We all need to have a better relationship with God. You can read the bible from cover to cover and not really understand any of it if you don't take the time to read between the lines. I feel so blessed to have a Father-in-law that is a minister that I can trust and talk to when I need him to help me understand something. I know that looking back at my high school years, and even Jr. high years that I would not be were I am today. In a great and loving relationship with God. I have the most wonderful husband anyone could ask for. Together we have truly found God. Together we have been able to grow as a couple in Gods love. We are raising our children to know who God is, and how much he means to us. How to praise Him, how to love Him. How to grow in his ways. How to trust that God will provide us with everything we need and then some. That God is always with us no matter what we do or where we are. I know that I still have a lot to learn about what God wants me to do with my life, but I know that I'm on the right track.
I feel his love all around me all the time. I know that He is with me no matter what. Even in the darkest of times, He is there for me. He will walking me through my darkest times, and celebrate my greatest joys in life. I know that He was there with me when my son and daughter were both born.
I know that he answered my prayers when I was blessed with a healthy baby girl. My daughter is the first girl in 63 years on my husbands side of the family. I can remember praying every night after I found out I was pregnant with our second child for a healthy baby girl. I wanted a girl so bad. He listened, He heard my prayers and blessed us with Peyton on March 2, 2008.
Two healthy kids what more could I ask for from Him. He has taken care of my family from day one.
He has taken care of me from the start. When my birth-mother found out she was pregnant with me at 17, He was there. He knew that she would not be able to care for me at such a young age. He had already had everything planned out for my Mom to adopt me.
Yet there are prayers we don't get answers to, and we may never understand why. We just have to have faith and trust in Him. Everything in our lives happens for a reason, a reason that God has chosen. Sometimes we know right away what His reason is, sometimes we have to wait a while, and sometimes we never understand why. God does not have to give a reason for anything He does. We just have to have faith and trust in Him that he knows what is best for us no matter what.
About two weeks ago there was a wonderful man from my town that was killed trying to help others in need. This man had a wife and a three year old son. For me it was so hard to understand Gods reason for taking away a father and husband. So I was talking with my Father-in-law about it. That is when he told me sometimes we don't know what Gods reason is for a long time, and sometimes we never know until we ourselves get to heaven and are able to ask God for ourselves. But it's the trust and faith again, we have to have trust and faith.
Trust and faith in our Lord is what gets us through everyday, every heart ache, every pain, every fear that we will ever have. But remember He is there, always there, good times or bad. He will always be there, and his love for us is there for us as well. He sent his son to die on a cross just so we could be saved and live with the Father in heaven for all of eternity.

Growing up

It's a new year for me on my blog. It's a new year for a lot of things. My husband and I have decided that we are done living the American dream. We are done with credit cards and anything that has to do with them. The only thing we will ever finance again is a house or a car/truck. Other than that will we be paying cash for everything we buy from now on. We have a four year plan, in four years we are going to be debt free and that includes our truck as well. So we will have no debts what so ever. It feels so good know that. I know that we might have a few speed bumps on the way, we have already hit a few, but we will keep going. We have faith in God to help us through this, to help guild us in the right directions in our life's.
Also in this new year my daughter is turning two next month. I'm happy and sad all at the same time. She is growing up way to fast. Her brother just turned three last October. I keep getting the feeling like we should have one more baby. But we are not sure, we are praying about it and leaving it up to God if we should have more or not. Peyton is getting so big, she is starting to sit on the potty, has not done anything yet, she loves to be read to all the time. So we are working on getting her more and more books. We have also started taking Ross to the library since he also is into books and being read to as well.
We have also started a bible study in our house. My Mother-in-law keep on getting the feeling that God was telling her we needed to do this. So after talking with me and my Mom we all agreed. Last Thursday was our first study, and tonight will be our second. I'm really looking forward to it. I enjoyed last Thursday's study a lot on the 23rd Psalm. While reading it i figured out I have a stalker, his name is Jesus. He is always with me no matter what, always watching me, taking care of me, guiding me, and keeping me safe. So not your typical stalker, but still He is my stalker.
This year will be mine and Pat's five year anniversary. It seems like so much longer sometimes and such a short time other times. I do know that I'm so happy with him, I know that he loves me no matter what. I never have to worry about him and me, and if we are "okay". I know that our relationship is even stronger now than it was when we first got married, because we have Jesus in our lives. Before we got married yes we both believed in God, but we did not really act the way we should. We were not reading our bibles and praying to God. We were not living ours lives the way God would want. We still have a long ways to go, but with Gods help we are on the right path now.
With God all things are possible, without God nothing is possible.