Monday will be a sad day

So tomorrow is my daughters first birthday party. I'm happy that she is growing up and becoming a big girl, and yet I'm sad. She will not be a baby anymore, she will still be my little girl no matter what but not a baby. I will miss that. Even though she is still nursing so we will still have that for a little while, ( I want to let her choose when she wants to stop, well for the most part I'm not nursing a 4 year old lol).
So I invited my birth mother to Peyton's party and I'm a little nervous about it. I talked to her for the first time in almost two years about a week ago. I stopped talking to her because she was just to pushy and I could not take it. I needed time so I just cut everything off. In a way I feel bad and in a way I don't. Part of the reason I'm giving it another shot is because of my sister and the fact that she has a son now. I just feel like I should help her some how. Even though she is living with Lynn (my birth mother) and Lynn is helping her. I just felt that she tried to be my "mom" and my mom she is not. I'm very grateful that she gave me up for adoption, and the sacrifice she gave for me. I have the up most respect for her in that sense. And I was talking to my mom about why I stopped talking to Lynn and she said that to Lynn I was her child, in her mind I have always been her child and I can understand that and see that now. I guess I'm just protective of my mom since I'm an only child. Who knows maybe if I was not an only child I would still feel the same. So we will see how tomorrow goes. Hopefully everything will go smooth. I will let y'all know how it goes.

Time to catch up

So it's been a while since I have blogged and I kind of missed it to say the least. So I got a new car, a 2004 Ford Excursion, and I love it. It's so nice to drive and I have as much space as I could ever want with the kids and the dog. It's a diesel and 4x4. It's fully loaded with leather and everything. It even has some aftermarket goodies on it as well.
So Peyton is going to be one on Monday and I just want to cry. I don't want my baby to grow up. I want her stay little and cuddle with me. It kind of makes me want to have another baby. But not while we are living with my parents that's not going to happen so it's out of the question right now. Since I have an IUD and oops probably will not happen either. Oh well, I do think I want to have at least one more baby but we will see.
Pat is doing really well with his job, he is going to be moving to days soon. Which he is not happy about since he is not a morning person at all. But oh well. He did get his hours cut way back at work from 50 a week down to 40 a week, but with a lot of people losing there jobs I can't complain. I'm very thankful for the job he has and for all that God has provided for us.
OK I think i need to go to bed I have had a glass and a half of wine tonight and it's catching up with me.