So Christmas is just around the corner, according to ebay we have 40 days until Christmas. That's not a lot. I'm sitting here thinking to myself how am I going to get the last of my gifts for people. How am I going to pay for it all. I started early this year, really early for me. I started buying and shopping back in the beginning of October. Now to some that is late others early. Next year I plan on starting earlier then this year. Someday I hope to start right after Christmas of the last year. But one small step at a time :)
I know people will still love me the same if I can't get them a gift for Christmas. They will still care about me. But at the same time I will still feel bad. I like giving gifts to people, I like to watch them open them and see that they got what they wanted, what they asked for. But this year I'm a little worried about doing that, and seeing that.
Maybe this is God's way of showing me to get back to basics. What I mean by that is get back to the real meaning of Christmas. The birth of Jesus Christ. He is the real reason we celebrate. Not the gifts, and all the food. He should be the main reason, and family should be next.
So I'm putting it in His hands, a way to pay for the gifts that I still want to get for people. I'm leaving it up to Him to help me either find a way to pay for them, or to give me an idea of something to make that wont cost me anything or very little.
What is your reason for the holiday season?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The couch is my new best friend
So I started feeling a little run down a few days ago and it's gotten worse everyday. I have a head cold and I'm pregnant oh joy. There is not much that I can take to get relief so I sit here and suffer. Pat just called saying he is feeling like poo now as well. So that means he gets to rest and I do not. He is the one that has to go to work, and only has maybe one day of sick pay saved since the last time he got sick. So right now I just wanna cry. This might sound odd but for once can't I be sick and be taken care of. Where no one else is sick just me. Yes I'm sure most are laughing right now, and if I read someone saying this I would probably laugh just the same. But gosh darn it he always gets sick when I'm sick. I should expect it and I do, but I also just wanted to whine a little :)
Monday, November 8, 2010
Chili
Why oh why do I eat chili. Every time I do it's bad news, yet it tastes so good that I can't help myself :) Oh well it's worth it I guess.
This is my random thought for the day :)
This is my random thought for the day :)
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Life and those in and out of it
So this past year I have taken a look at the people in my life. After reading a friends blog it made me think that I should put this down in words. So thanks Kara :)
I have been on a life cleaning out mood so to say. Not just friends but family as well. People who just want to use me. I have always thought of myself as a good friend, someone who will bend over backwards to help someone out. I would drop everything that I could to be there for a friend. But I have found that it really has gotten me no where with some. So I'm done. I'm done being the one they always go to, but I can't go to them when I need someone. I'm tried of being used and then set on a shelf until I'm needed again. Well I need people to sometimes, I need someone to help me out. A shoulder to cry on, a friend to watch my kids at the last moment because something has happened that is out of my control.
As for family, I sadly have some family members I no long care for really. I don't really see them in my life or my kids life. I just feel that if they can't be a positive in my life why have them there at all. I love my family and think that family is very important, but not when they just use you for things.
Some of those family members might read this and think, hey is she talking about me. Well I just might be. Maybe they will sit back and think about that for a moment.
I have lots of friends and family that have burned the bridge with me. I'm done I have washed my hands of them. Blocked them on my phone, blocked them on facebook so I no longer have to see there updates. I did not delete them because I don't like confrontation if I don't have to deal with it. Call me a baby about that I don't care, but it's for my own sake that I did not do that.
Friends on another level, there are some that I have lost touch with over the years. One person that always comes to mind is Joy. I went to grade school with her for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. We lost touch after I moved to Gaston. Her dad never really liked me, why I'm not sure. I was still a good kid back then, that was way before I started getting into trouble :) I have called her dads house once in a while, the number is still the same, left messages for her or her dad to call me. But I have never heard from him or her. I have heard she fell in with a bad crowd and starting down a dark road of drugs. I hope it's not true. Maybe one day I will run into her and we can catch up. But on another hand maybe it was meant to happen, all part of Gods plan that Joy and I not continue to be friends later on in life.
I do have one friend that looking back when we first met would of never of really thought that over 10 years later we would still be friends. Very close friends at that. Mostly because he found me very annoying :)Another one that strikes me is Pat. I met Pat for the first time when I was about 17. So we have known each other for 10 years. Looking back I would of never of thought that was the man that I would marry to spend the rest of my life with and have kids with. But I'm glad I did.
So if you are reading this today maybe you have some friends or family in your life that do not make you a better person. Just because you have been friends with someone for a long time does not mean you will always have to be friends. People grow up, grow apart, grow in different walks of life. Family, well just because they are family does not mean they are good and have to be in your life. Family is someone who is there for you in good times and bad. Not someone who is only there for you when it's going to benefit them.
I have lots of "family" as in people who are very close to me and I would call them for help before a lot of people who are my "family".
Who is your family?
I have been on a life cleaning out mood so to say. Not just friends but family as well. People who just want to use me. I have always thought of myself as a good friend, someone who will bend over backwards to help someone out. I would drop everything that I could to be there for a friend. But I have found that it really has gotten me no where with some. So I'm done. I'm done being the one they always go to, but I can't go to them when I need someone. I'm tried of being used and then set on a shelf until I'm needed again. Well I need people to sometimes, I need someone to help me out. A shoulder to cry on, a friend to watch my kids at the last moment because something has happened that is out of my control.
As for family, I sadly have some family members I no long care for really. I don't really see them in my life or my kids life. I just feel that if they can't be a positive in my life why have them there at all. I love my family and think that family is very important, but not when they just use you for things.
Some of those family members might read this and think, hey is she talking about me. Well I just might be. Maybe they will sit back and think about that for a moment.
I have lots of friends and family that have burned the bridge with me. I'm done I have washed my hands of them. Blocked them on my phone, blocked them on facebook so I no longer have to see there updates. I did not delete them because I don't like confrontation if I don't have to deal with it. Call me a baby about that I don't care, but it's for my own sake that I did not do that.
Friends on another level, there are some that I have lost touch with over the years. One person that always comes to mind is Joy. I went to grade school with her for the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade. We lost touch after I moved to Gaston. Her dad never really liked me, why I'm not sure. I was still a good kid back then, that was way before I started getting into trouble :) I have called her dads house once in a while, the number is still the same, left messages for her or her dad to call me. But I have never heard from him or her. I have heard she fell in with a bad crowd and starting down a dark road of drugs. I hope it's not true. Maybe one day I will run into her and we can catch up. But on another hand maybe it was meant to happen, all part of Gods plan that Joy and I not continue to be friends later on in life.
I do have one friend that looking back when we first met would of never of really thought that over 10 years later we would still be friends. Very close friends at that. Mostly because he found me very annoying :)Another one that strikes me is Pat. I met Pat for the first time when I was about 17. So we have known each other for 10 years. Looking back I would of never of thought that was the man that I would marry to spend the rest of my life with and have kids with. But I'm glad I did.
So if you are reading this today maybe you have some friends or family in your life that do not make you a better person. Just because you have been friends with someone for a long time does not mean you will always have to be friends. People grow up, grow apart, grow in different walks of life. Family, well just because they are family does not mean they are good and have to be in your life. Family is someone who is there for you in good times and bad. Not someone who is only there for you when it's going to benefit them.
I have lots of "family" as in people who are very close to me and I would call them for help before a lot of people who are my "family".
Who is your family?
Friday, November 5, 2010
Christmas Shopping
So this year I'm trying really hard to get all my Christmas shopping done before December. I just finished up the kids gifts today. I got another gift card from Swagbucks for Amazon for a grand total right now of $20.00 bucks. I have gotten over $100.00 gift cards for Amazon from Swagbucks over the last year since I have been on there.
If I can get a few more gift cards for Amazon then I can start putting those towards some other people that I still need to shop for. But my kids are taken care of for Christmas this year. For next year I'm hopping to get started in January and keep it up. Also to start shopping right away for birthdays and any other occasion that I need to long before the date gets here.
In the past I was doing all of my shopping about one to two weeks before Christmas and I really felt it in my wallet. Not this year.
If I can get a few more gift cards for Amazon then I can start putting those towards some other people that I still need to shop for. But my kids are taken care of for Christmas this year. For next year I'm hopping to get started in January and keep it up. Also to start shopping right away for birthdays and any other occasion that I need to long before the date gets here.
In the past I was doing all of my shopping about one to two weeks before Christmas and I really felt it in my wallet. Not this year.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Mood Swings SUCK!
Ugh this pregnancy has been one big mood swing the whole time. Plus to think it could only get worse, wonderful. Pat has been very supportive most of the time, he is a man and they can only comprehend so much of this pregnancy crap that we all go through. Ya know I really wish someone would come up with a drug that a man could take for like a week or something, and it would make him feel pregnant. Bloated, mood swings, swollen feet, back ache, morning sickness, constipation, and anything else that I'm forgetting right now, oh ya pregnancy brain. Maybe strap a little bump thing to him that kicks him in the bladder all day long as well. Then on top of everything else make him go to work, or take care of the kids, the house and everything else all while he feels like crap.
Like I said Pat does a pretty good job but every now and then I just want to ring his neck, and I'm sure that's mostly due to hormones going crazy in my body right now.
As most know I have battled depression for years, this pregnancy like my last two I'm not taking any medication for the depression. Looking back on my first two pregnancies I'm sure I was depressed and that was a lot of my mood problems. This time knowing that the depression is there does not seem to be making it easier or harder to deal with. I truly feel that my depression has been getting worse over the last few years, why I'm not sure but I would like to know. Maybe once this baby is born I can start to find that out. Right now I don't think that would be a good idea. Who knows I might not be able to find out after the baby is born either since I will be nursing and who knows what they will want me to do, try, or go through. I can deal with it while I"m pregnant and I can take medication while I'm nursing to help me get through it. Once the baby has weaned off of the breast then I can buckle down and try and get to the bottom of everything.
I will also have to go into it knowing I might not find any answer or an answer that I'm looking for.
So if you are a spouse significant other of someone who is pregnant know there is a light at the end of the crazy tunnel. But also know that the light might not be what you want it to be. Just be there for her, and take care of her. Remember she is growing a human right there in front of you.
Like I said Pat does a pretty good job but every now and then I just want to ring his neck, and I'm sure that's mostly due to hormones going crazy in my body right now.
As most know I have battled depression for years, this pregnancy like my last two I'm not taking any medication for the depression. Looking back on my first two pregnancies I'm sure I was depressed and that was a lot of my mood problems. This time knowing that the depression is there does not seem to be making it easier or harder to deal with. I truly feel that my depression has been getting worse over the last few years, why I'm not sure but I would like to know. Maybe once this baby is born I can start to find that out. Right now I don't think that would be a good idea. Who knows I might not be able to find out after the baby is born either since I will be nursing and who knows what they will want me to do, try, or go through. I can deal with it while I"m pregnant and I can take medication while I'm nursing to help me get through it. Once the baby has weaned off of the breast then I can buckle down and try and get to the bottom of everything.
I will also have to go into it knowing I might not find any answer or an answer that I'm looking for.
So if you are a spouse significant other of someone who is pregnant know there is a light at the end of the crazy tunnel. But also know that the light might not be what you want it to be. Just be there for her, and take care of her. Remember she is growing a human right there in front of you.
House work is never done
No matter how much you clean it's never clean. If you have kids or animals you will understand and relate to this.
I can have my bedroom completely clean and everything put away and sure enough what happens, the kids come in and start pulling clothes out of the closet, or the dog jumps on the bed and messes up the nicely made bed.
Dishes; I can have every single dish in the house washed, dried, and put away. Then one of the kids will want a drink or a snack or I will be hungry or thirsty. Then look you have another dirty dish.
Laundry oh the lovely laundry. I really can't say I have had ALL the laundry in the house done at once. With two kids, one on the way, husband, a dog, plus myself, towels and extra items like that, the laundry is always there no matter what.
With the fall and winter months coming I know that my floors will never stay clean for more then five minuets as well. Weather it's the dog coming in with wet muddy feet, kids forgetting to take their shoes off, my husband who forgets to take his muddy boots off outside. The floor is a total loss.
So one may wonder why bother to clean in the first place. Well it's something that just has to be done. If we did not clean we would smell bad, look bad, and no one would want to be around us. If you don't do the never ending laundry then at some point your clothes will stand up on their own. If you don't do the dishes then you will get mold on them and you can get sick. If you don't clean the floors you could step on something that can hurt you because it was not cleaned up the right way.
So yes cleaning is a never ending battle for anyone, but for a mom it's a never end job/battle what ever you want to call it. It's just part of being mom.
I can have my bedroom completely clean and everything put away and sure enough what happens, the kids come in and start pulling clothes out of the closet, or the dog jumps on the bed and messes up the nicely made bed.
Dishes; I can have every single dish in the house washed, dried, and put away. Then one of the kids will want a drink or a snack or I will be hungry or thirsty. Then look you have another dirty dish.
Laundry oh the lovely laundry. I really can't say I have had ALL the laundry in the house done at once. With two kids, one on the way, husband, a dog, plus myself, towels and extra items like that, the laundry is always there no matter what.
With the fall and winter months coming I know that my floors will never stay clean for more then five minuets as well. Weather it's the dog coming in with wet muddy feet, kids forgetting to take their shoes off, my husband who forgets to take his muddy boots off outside. The floor is a total loss.
So one may wonder why bother to clean in the first place. Well it's something that just has to be done. If we did not clean we would smell bad, look bad, and no one would want to be around us. If you don't do the never ending laundry then at some point your clothes will stand up on their own. If you don't do the dishes then you will get mold on them and you can get sick. If you don't clean the floors you could step on something that can hurt you because it was not cleaned up the right way.
So yes cleaning is a never ending battle for anyone, but for a mom it's a never end job/battle what ever you want to call it. It's just part of being mom.
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