So a lot has been going on around here. Got a new laptop, so nice love it. In the process of getting life insurance for Pat, me and the kids. And I think I'm going to get my IUD taken out. It just makes me really nervous having it. I have taken two pregnancy tests ( two different times) since I have had it. And it really made me think, that if I were to get pregnant while having the IUD it would most likely end badly. I don't like to think about that. So I made an apt for my yearly check up next month and will be talking with my Mid-Wife about what to do. I'm still breastfeeding so my options are limited. Pat does not want me to go on the pill because I'm really bad about remembering to take it. But I don't care I will get better at remembering and we might have to use a back up method a little more often. Plus I would not mind having another little one running around. I have always said I wanted more than two kids I wanted more like four Pat said two so I think three would be a good compromise.
So I started Slimfast last week to try and lose some more of this baby weight. So far well I was doing great until Pat and I went out on a date night. So that pretty much put me back at square one after that night, oh well. I will just have to work that much harder to lose that weight that I had already lost again. But I'm going to lose the rest of this baby weight, and I hope a little more after that. I know I don't need to worry to much about it, from what I have read I'm smaller than the average woman. Which in a way makes me feel good and then it does not. I see people everywhere with big bellies, big legs, behinds, and just big all over. I don't want to let myself get like that. I don't want people staring at me when I'm at a resturnat and have them thinking "Oh my look at her and what she is eating, she so does not need that". I know because I think that way about people sometimes, and I know I shouldn't it's not nice and I don't know their story. But sometimes I just can't help it. I guess it's human nature.
So back to the wanting another baby part. I do want another baby, I think someone needs to smack me but that's another blog. I know we are still living with my Mom and Dad, but we are not getting any younger. I don't want my kids to be far apart in age. I want them to grow up together and play together. But yet I want my own house so bad. I want to get out of here, to be out on our own. Not having my Mom look over my shoulder all the time. Another baby would set that all back I know that. But there is also a part of me that feels like we will never be able to get our own house. If I went back to work then we would be able to get a house sooner. I see our friends with their homes, and having what they want their way and I'm jealous. I know it sounds dumb, but I want my own space so bad I could just scream. I mean we stuffed our two bedroom house into my parents already full house. So there is not much space around here. Ross sleeps in our closet which happens to be a walk in so it's like his own little room and that's nice. Peyton's crib is right next to our bed, a nightstand is in between our bed and her crib. Which means I can only use a small corner of the night stand because she can reach through and grab stuff, which she does all the time.
But with the way everything is right now, so many people losing their jobs and their homes, I am grateful for being here don't get me wrong. I just want space. Space to spread out, space to leave a mess and not have my Mommy telling me to clean it up, space to leave a basket of clean laundry folded for a few days or even a week if I want to. Leave dinner dishes in the sink and not get yelled at it about it. I have heard so many people say they wished they would of not worried so much about keeping a clean house and spend more time with their family. My Mom can't stand to have a dirty house. She freaks and I mean freaks out if someone is coming over and there are things out of place, and it could be someone that comes over all the time like her best friend or one of my best friends does not matter. I can't stand that part. It stresses her out to no end and I know that is not good for her health. Now my Moms health that is a whole other story. I wont even start to get into that one tonight, not enough time and I'm just to tired. I will save that one for another blog.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
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